I'm starting to socialise again...
In those tough six months
It was rough
& social anxiety turned up
With a torch
They came to me with
Open palms &
Inviting arms
Reassuring that I'd be out of harms way
But they lied
I was not better off
In fact
Quite the opposite
But...
Not to worry
That relationship was only temporary
We broke up and now I'm back
Smiling
Laughing
& Chatting
Today will be the last day
That I get used as a doormat
I have made mistakes
I have socially checked out
& I have met karma too many times
This week alone...
For the foreseeable future
I am busy
Busy being sat at home
Don't call
Don't text
Don't bother
Because
I won't pick up the phone...
To call this season... Summer
We may require the sun
But remember we're in England
Down the road
The water runs
A cup of tea
Inside a blanket
& listening to the downpour
This English summer was here for a day
Teasing you with some warmth
& then the weather switched 3 times
& that was just before you'd had lunch
Yeah, yeah I'm loving the weather
& your sarcasm
Thanks a bunch
How do you know
That I’m real?
How do you know that
I’m not AI generated
On the ‘internet’
But
Even If you have
Met me
Are you even real?
My cheeks are sore
Soaked with tears
I’m living each second
But my minds not here
Blank face and have little care
Feeling suicidal
Motivation stripped bare
I held onto the thought of us
I held onto our friendship
& the fact that we considered each other
Family
You were my best friend
& my brother
We could be ourselves
Around each other
We wouldn’t judge
But once I’d met
The real you
Fucking hell
It all made sense
You’re the worst human being
I’d ever met
& I’m glad our ‘friendship’
Is in the past tense
I’d love to create a portrait
Of myself
But it would be abstract
It would be my mind & soul
Splattered on a page
3d, 4d
You’d hear bizarre sounds
You’d feel the flush
Of my cheeks
& you’d feel a cat
On your lap
Because a basic portrait
Has never been further from
My vibe
When our lips touch,
my heart explodes,
Passion whirls around the room.
The rain on your windows,
Under the duvet,
Body goals.
I'm in love with you,
It's time to watch our life unfold.
Falling for you harder
every time you say my name
No matter the distance our feelings stay the same
Your laugh and your smile
Will always fill me with glee
I don’t think you realise Kieran
How happy you’ve made me