When you tell your cat that

You will be home soon

And to be a good boy

While you’re at work

He’s planning something

You can see it in his eyes

& you know what cats are like

As soon as the doors closed

He magically gets thumbs 

Then

He opens the fridge &

Drinks all the milk

I know it’s a Cravendale advert 

But what you don’t know 

Is it’s also a short documentary

& that footage is real

Call me a conspiracy theorist 

But there was a reason why the Egyptians worshipped cats….

The pyramids were built by cat gods 

So they could sleep right at the top undisturbed 

And the pyramids were torture chambers 

For all the humans that fed the cat gods 1 minute late….

Be wary of your cat 

Because he’s planning something 

& he is full of hate