Eating the food 

Spilling the drinks 

Standing on toes

They barely think 

Grabbed the wrong order

And they’re on their phones 

They’re working solo 

But never seem to be alone

Hogging the toilets 

Picking their nose 

Cleaning their ears 

Having a doze

Just Eat, Uber, Deliveroo

They’ll be in your way 

Morning, evening 

Afternoon.

They’ll take your seats

To your dismay

We all hate them

Every day 

Until we order 

Pulling up the app

Have they left the restaurant?

Is there a live map?

Checking the window

Lifting the blinds

It’s only been 6 minutes

But you’re losing your fucking mind

Any door slams and you’re on your feet

Shuffling round the house 

Is it time to eat?

Stalking, watching, following

Come on hurry up 

I’m fucking starving