I still see you both

Even though you are no longer here 

When I wake up

Rub my eyes

Yawn & look in a mirror

I see you looking back at me.

My dad’s nose

Mums’ hair

The same stare 

When we concentrate

& I look down at my rings

Seeing family members gifts

Placed over my fingertips

Sitting comfortably

Like a family

Together watching tv

& I see what we could have been 

In a coffee shop 

Sipping tea

Laughing over silly things

Happy as can be

But we never had those things 

When you were alive

We never sat down all together

At the dinner table

Talking about our day

Waiting for food to arrive

You weren’t there to collect me

After school

So where were you?

I see more of you both now that you are gone

Haunting my memories 

Recognising you through scents and songs

Talking to people with the same name as you

Receiving presents with your faces 

And hearing “I’m sorry for your losses”

Like a broken record

A maze that I can’t escape

These deaths will not define who I am

& my plans

In life

Thank you for the memories 

But it’s time for me to move on