10th Feb 2026

 *Cough Cough*

Errr hi.

Blog time.

I realise that it has been 8 months since I last wrote a blog.

Maybe that's good & maybe that's bad...

I stopped writing these because they felt pointless. I don't believe people read them, I don't believe people cared and following onto that point I don't feel that people care generally.

I don't need the attention, but I need just one good friend to notice when I'm down and to give me a tight squeeze.

Life is pretty lonely right now in terms of friendship.

My best friend Wayne lives in Leiceseter but also Tblisi and I don't have enough time to see him. My other best friend Kyle, also lives in Leicester. I hardly get any time off from work and when I do have a day off I have to call in for a meeting, clean the house or just sleep. I am so exhausted and honestly I don't know how much more I can push my body.

Becoming a duty manager has been the best and worst thing I have ever done. I give this job every last piece of my energy that I have saved, but it still doesn't feel enough.

Creatively I am dry, mentally I am exhausted, physically I am fat.

I feel useless and stupid and worthless...

I used to watch documentaries for fun, read daily, do sudokus and watch the chase.

Right now, I cry daily and then go to work, then cry when I get home.

The death of my parents has had a delay and now hit me like a bullet train.

So, not the best post out there, but raw, honest & true.

It's okay to have bad days, weeks and years, but it is also okay to admit that and not hide it...

I will keep trying my best, hopefully this storm will pass... Sooner rather than later.