Lack of welfare checks

 Grief hits harder on days

When you forget they are dead
When you want to send them a text
Because something sparked a memory
And it would make them laugh
Seeing old photographs
Makes you stop
Freeze
Accept their death all over again
Like it's the first time
But how many times will this happen
When a man walked past me smoking
And it smelt like dads home
Or I heard someone shout Luke
And I turned hoping it would be him
But it never will be
Plaid shirts and converse will always be his thing
Messy hair and staggering
Slurred speech
Like he were drunk
But the only time he could talk properly was when he were pissed
Alcohol normalised him
Yet when he quit he was labelled an alcoholic
A druggie
A dead beat
But that dead beat was my dad
Trying his best and we all failed him
Mental health teams
Cancelling
He couldn't leave the house or make appointments
He were struggling
So why did they stop trying
The people who need the most help are the ones who don't leave their bed
Who don't get back to their friends
They just disappear into the silence
Frightened
And when they reach out
Ignorance and violence
Labelling and talking about their past instead of their future.
He attempted so many times
And they knew this.


Didn't turn up to collect his meds weeks before he attempted
And he was supposed to be going daily
But they hadn't seen him for weeks.
That pharmacy was a 2 minute walk from his front door
He had next of kins but no welfare checks were made
We could have stopped him
Had one phone call or a knock on the door been made.