Sitting in a public space 

Reading a book 

Will attract the largest

Loudest

Messiest family

Just by opening a book

Your body language somehow screams 

Come sit next to me

Start a conversation…

Hell

I even offer babysitting 

And life advice sessions… 

Free of charge 

All because 

I appear knowledgeable 

Don’t worry 

Your kids are safe with me 

While you go get a pint of beer or vodka 

Or whatever the fuck you parents drink

I can’t exactly go back to reading my book 

When your 3-year-old is trying to 

Drink my coffee…